drumnbass.be forum » Drumnbass scene » Offtopic banter » Signs you have been spending too much time with samplers and synths Signs you have been spending too much time with samplers and synths Author Post Friscko Aron Tinnitus Registration Date: 12-03-2005 Posts: 4,467 Helpfulness rating:  *You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car,but know how many BPM they flash at. *You go to hear an orchestra with your girlfriend, and while she listens to the beautiful music, you calculate the polyphony required to reproduce it. *Last Christmas you synced your Christmas tree lights to your TR-909. *The accelerator on your car has aftertouch. *Your dog's name is Octave. *You make cutoff frequency feedback noise with your mouth when you turn the door knob in your room... *At the supermarket when the cheese girl offers you a free sample you look intrigued, bothered and bewildered. *Your daughter's boyfriend has tattoos, piercings and doesn't have a job... But you don't mind because his name is Roland. *Your outgoing answering machine message took hours to write, produce and record. *You pay attention in church when the preacher says the word "Prophet". *You can tell the difference between “do” and “do#” by ear... *Every movie you rent goes straight to the computer after watching it. *You prefer "analog" instead of "digital" home appliances because 'they just work better ' *You go to a tech trade show. You rush over to the brand new synth on display, fiddle for 5 minutes, declare it "a piece of shit" and then go on to tell the company reps how it works, where the PCM samples came from, and offer to do them better samples from your own analog gear. *Synth manufacturers call YOU for technical support. (see above) *First thing you think of after sex is turning on your synths. *You dream of finding a $50 MiniMoog at a garage sale, and you stop at every one you see, just in case! *The only french word you know is "noon". & the #1 sign that U hang around synths and samplers too long: You understand every term and joke used in this article! 41. You don't hear the words to any of the songs on the radio because you spend all your time working out how many hi-hat samples they use and how long the patterns are. 42. You hear a whooshy noise in a club and shout 'Enigma!' 43. When your friends are DJing at a party you are constantly leaning over the DJ mixer to tweak the eq - 'just to get the best out of the sound system'. 44. When DJing you ALWAYS only run the mixer as loud as the sound engineer says you should. 45. You know exactly how GMS made that sound. 46. Infected Mushroom pester you on MSN for technical advice. 47. You have a bank of your own original sounds for the FM7. 48. You can make your computer speak without using a speech synthesis program. 49. You get to visit the Cistine Chapel and the first thing you do is clap your hands, listen and say, "Hmmmm..." 50. You know the resonant frequency of your girlfriend's foofoo. 51. You read a thread called 'The Top 40 Signs That You've Been Hanging Around Synths and Samplers Too Long' and immediately think of another 10 really cool ones they missed out. 52. You have painted your room red so that it will match your Nord Lead. 55. Your name is Bob Moog. 56. You have created your own FM synthesizer using an old FM radio. 57. You have mastered Deedrah's new album. 58. Simon Posford creates a thread in isratrance asking how to make "that" UIU sound 59. When your girlfriend is feeling left out of your life, you call her into your studio, sample her saying something, reverse it, time stretch it and load it up with delay. Then you cut it on 16th notes and lay it behind a breakbeat. You consider that quality time. 60. When you watch a movie, you pay more attention to clever samples and sounds to sample than the actual plot. 61. While doing this you always say "Ooo I have to sample that" to which your friends reply "SHHH!" 62. You have over 600 different kick drums. 63. You have over XXX different versions of every percussive element. 64. You can spend hours comparing 3 different percussive samples and not get bored. 65. The main reason you let your girlfriend talk you into buying a house was so you had a room for a studio and you wouldn't have to deal with noise complaints. 66. When you haven't even read this thread because you prefer to tweak your synths instead of reading crap on forums. 67. You parents gave you money to take you're drivers license, and you toke it and went to the music store to buy a k-station 68. You apply for a job as keyboard player in your local church just to touch that vintage keyboard 69. you trigger every analog instrument to make it sound digitally wicked and waste 98% CPU power on effects that turn a piano into a sitar 70. you spend half of your life (average time) to "fine-tune" the first sound of your new track 71. you read all the topics here with the hope that one point wont fit with you. 72. You are cleaning the nobs and racks daily, while the rest of your flat is full of dump. The kitchen is so dirty that you decide to put the fritchen into the studio. 73. Your only friend is the Pizzaman. 74. Your body consists of smoke, coffee and pizza only. 75. You invite your friend over for a few minutes to listen to your new track, and spend over an hour anal-rentatively "getting things ready" so they can "properly listen" to it. 76. You wonder if you could replace your car glovebox with a rackmount, & plug your novation into your car stereo, for those long road trips. 77. You've spent too long looking intensely at two row LCD backlit dotmatrix panels that when you go outside into the sunlight everything looks blocky. 78. if u imagine every sound you hear reversed andor time stretched andor pitch shifted. 79. u go outside (by mistake of course how else could this happen?) hear the wind blow and think to yourself : "i wonder how the winds lfo automation would look like... " 80. you don`t talk to ppl unless it`s on sound,computers,synths etc. 81. u actually know what waves sound like just by looking at them. 82. You never used cracked software. 83. You never used cracked pluggins. 83. You never played MP3 in parties. 84. You will never desagree of the items above. 85. you logon to the isratrance equipment and music creation area everyday 86. you have listened to all the entire speaches of terrence mckenna looking for samples. 87. When walking in the street with a synth geek friend of yours, you see a woman and have to ask your friend: "What on earth is that?" (Of course your friend, being a geek too, is unable to answer the question.) 88. girls pretend to be interested in synths to get your attention (like wearing a moog tshirt) 89. you turn night into day, and speand hours into the small hours of the night, tweaking and creating music. 90. you know how gently you need be to twist the nip... 91. you don't remember the last time you had sex (if yes it is a serious case). 92 - your mother tinks u are worshiping the worst motosport driver cause she constantly listens u saying that the asio driver crashed again 93. Your mate lends you a porno called 'Rackmount' and you file it with your studio tutorials. 94. After producing you will lie down in the bed and sing the melodies and beats by two hours before sleeping. 95. You never give up on producing till late at night even knowing that you won't get to sleep in the next two hours. 96. You will sleep few hours per night and even so you wake up singing the melodies and beats from your production. 97. Your dream is one day just recharge your sleep in the socket. 98. You hear a slow LFO on pitch when an ambulance passes by. You get nuts when it passes a crossover and changes the frequency of the LFO. 99.You´re always saying to yourself:This is the last piece of gear i buy,from now on this is more than enough,in that same day you sit in the toillet with musicstore catalogue and a calculator. 100.YOu envy those guitar center employees that have all the gear shirts and jackets that are not for sail anywhere. 101 - your girlfriend gets pissed off because YOU are the one who wont do anything since its ONE OF THOSE DAYS 102. your doorbell rings and u wonder how it would sound with a compressor and a waves eq on it.. 103. u think about sidechaing your doorbell with ur neighbours (i dont know if that made sense) for clarity!! 104. You read that one, almost gets offended and think "It´s the Dopler effect" 105. When listening to a for you unknown track in a bar, your hand hits in the air everytime there is a crash. 106. If you fall in love with a real human female, it is becouse her voice sounds nice. 107. If your neighbors see you outside, without sunglasses, with brushed hear and wearing clean cloth that means you finished new track 108 - you're logged at 6:45 in the morning in the Equipment and music creation of isratrance 109 - Youre travelling down the road and the next vehicle that passes you , you hear its engine sound and try to calculate the ADSR and spectral content !! 110 - You spot a new synth and immediately think of how youre gonne do the routings and whats gonna be your first freaky patch on the synth ! 111 - you dream about isratrance and hear a remix of a track in that dream. you can hear every detail even tho it`s just a dream (but of course you don't know that in that moment). 112 - You slice your finger really bad with a knife on accident, your heart drops to your stomach instantly from the shock and fear of what you've just done. Not because you cut your finger, but because it's your "knob tweaking finger" 113 - At the edn of the day, you turn off the lights in your room, not to make love to your girlfriend, but to enjoy the view of the synths' leds. 114 - You organize your patches and make your own banks. 115 - When someone's talking to you, instead of listening to what their saying you think about how you'd like to eq/compress their voice to make it sound 1000 times better. 116 - You evaluate all new house/new apartment prospects solely on how well they will accommodate your studio. (still looking, hehe) 117 - You've considered taking a 75% wage cut to work at a music store because of the 15% employee discount on gear. __ www.myspace.com/arontinnitus www.myspace.com/djfriscko 06-01-2007 03:17 Muad'Dib Andrejnalin Registration Date: 02-12-2003 Posts: 4,197 Helpfulness rating:  I can't believe it!! Actually more than 70% are positive for me!! Can't believe it. And number 92... that gave me a really good laugh... Thanx man! This is awesome. __ Thinking about becoming an Image-Line/FL Studio customer? Want a 10% reduction in price? Use this affiliate link: http://affiliate.image-line.com/BADEBDG473 There is no such thing without its opposite -Bene Gesserit 06-01-2007 03:42 Saikonutta not helpful ^^ Registration Date: 09-11-2006 Posts: 275 Helpfulness rating:  Finally!!! I'm not the only one 06-01-2007 13:54 Soi Super Moderator Registration Date: 29-01-2003 Posts: 1,417 Helpfulness rating:  Friscko, get back to your study-desk!! (zalige post) __ a myspace my tunes "I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get." 06-01-2007 14:46 Greyone Master Producer Registration Date: 01-04-2005 Posts: 6,285 Helpfulness rating:  hehe , well thats a good put. my experience of music changed wile learning the theory about it. some thing got better , some things worser (talking about the music expecience/feeling ) 06-01-2007 16:20 Friscko Aron Tinnitus Registration Date: 12-03-2005 Posts: 4,467 Helpfulness rating:  quote: Originally posted by Soi Friscko, get back to your study-desk!! that was last month quote: 94. After producing you will lie down in the bed and sing the melodies and beats by two hours before sleeping. 95. You never give up on producing till late at night even knowing that you won't get to sleep in the next two hours. 96. You will sleep few hours per night and even so you wake up singing the melodies and beats from your production. pretty much sums up every holiday for me __ www.myspace.com/arontinnitus www.myspace.com/djfriscko 06-01-2007 17:20 Surora23 Agressive Melodic Disorder Registration Date: 05-07-2004 Posts: 2,127 Helpfulness rating:  good post ! __ Rinse it OUT!!!! 06-01-2007 19:33 Muad'Dib Andrejnalin Registration Date: 02-12-2003 Posts: 4,197 Helpfulness rating:  quote: Originally posted by Surora23 good post ! Smile from Surora, it's a miracle!! Kiddin... __ Thinking about becoming an Image-Line/FL Studio customer? Want a 10% reduction in price? Use this affiliate link: http://affiliate.image-line.com/BADEBDG473 There is no such thing without its opposite -Bene Gesserit 07-01-2007 02:47 drumnbass.be forum » Drumnbass scene » Offtopic banter » Signs you have been spending too much time with samplers and synths